In the early hours of this morning, I had a very unusual experience.
I woke up at about 6 am with a strange sensation in my lower belly. It was like the kind of muscle pain you would feel when you need to go to toilet, but not quite. I went to toilet anyway just in case.
I sat on the toilet for quite a while, but nothing came out, not even gas. So I gave up and went back to bed. I normally get up at about 6:30 to 7:00 in the morning nowadays. But last night I really struggled with sleep. I only managed to fall into sleep at about 2:15 am, which was caused by pure exhaustion, because I did about two hours of intensive accounting study before that. Therefore I needed more sleep.
It took me a while to fall back into sleep. Whilst I was lying in bed half awake half sleep, I felt the stomach pain was getting better, and I could feel some gentle movement inside that area. I suddenly realized that my body was releasing some trapped energy, which caused the discomfort.
It might have been triggered by the amazing program I watched a few hours earlier, which was called ‘Tony Robbins: I am not your guru’. It was a documentary about Tony Robbins and his famous self-development program, ‘Date with Destiny’, which I read about and heard about from his own books and speeches, as well as other people’s articles and speeches.
It was very good and very touching. It only showed a few face-to-face counseling Tony did with a few participants who had very different problems. I found all of them powerful and compelling.
The one, where a 19 years old young woman revealed the anger she had had towards her father, reminded the problems I had had with my own father. The one, where the 26 years old young woman who grew up in a community called ‘Children of God’ (which forced children as young as 6 to engage sex with others and witness other people having sex), shocked me and also inspired deep compassion within myself. The compassion was so strong that if I was in a position to give her some help, either money or something else, I would, without any hesitation.
The one, where Tony encouraged a young man to see his true self, a strong and confident man, rather than a weak wimpy man which he was conditioned to believe by years of bullying from his own father (who was bullied by his own wife), reminded me of those moments when I realized for the first time of life that I was smart, strong and beautiful, which was the complete opposite to what was bullied to believe.
It was not only an emotional experienced, but also awakened something deep inside . It even triggered the release of the trapped energy which might have been held in prison for years.
I also received another gift. Just before I went back to sleep, I had a moment of total clarity, which was like a blue sky with no cloud. There was no thought, just a clear message: You need to write an excellent book at first, then you will see the path.
For some reason, I immediately knew that it was the answer to a question I asked quite a few times recently and hadn’t received an answer until that moment. As soon as I realized that, I immediately asked another question: What should I write? There was no answer.
I repeated this question after I woke up again a few hours later, but still no answer. I guess I’ll have to be patient and believe that I will receive the answer when the time is right.
For now, I’ll have to carry on doing what I have been doing in the last few weeks, writing my daily inspiration posts to prepare myself for the next stage.
I know this is the right thing, because it brings me the deep peace.