Emotional disturbance (30/05/2020)


I have just been through another one of those emotional disturbances. It started from yesterday and is coming to an end just now.

It was triggered by the upcoming spending on our car (MOT plus possible repairs, as well as road tax), which will probably be quite a few hundred pounds. For us, that’s a lot of money. We can hardly afford it, but we have to keep our car. Because without a car, going to hospitals would be very expensive, practically out of our reach.

This money worry triggered my worries for other things, such as my husband’s upcoming operation which may have serious undesirable consequences, such as long term memory loss and confusion, etc. In no time, I was trapped in a web of worries.

Thanks to all the positive work I’ve been doing on myself, I realized what was happening before it was too late. To distract myself from the unhappy feeling, I suspended my study and went to the back garden to enjoy a few minutes of sunshine and fresh air.

Fresh air always makes me feel better. Sunshine almost has magic power on me. It feels like sunlight can melt any of my dark emotions as easily as butter on a smoking hot frying pan. It works and it’s quick. After that, I returned to my little office and did a few minutes of positive work on myself (such as doing positive affirmations, imaging living the life I wanted to have, etc.)

I repeated the process above every couple of hours to keep moving my vibrations from the low end (negative) to the high end (positive). In addition, I praised myself for every little achievement I had, such as a good meal I cooked, a good response I provided in a challenging situation, etc.

After almost two days of intensive work, I’m back to the calm and peaceful space with which I have deeply fallen in love.

Looking back, it’s almost hard to believe that I have come such a long way and am approaching the end of the dark tunnel.

36 Years ago, I wished with all my heart that one day I would be free of emotional pain. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer and closer every day. More importantly, 90-95% of the mountain of pain is gone. And most of the time, the residual pain is not noticeable.

If you ask me how I have achieved this, all I can say is this: I have gone through a process. There’s no secret. It’s just a process, like life itself.

Emotional disturbance is part of the creation. It’s as natural as wind, trees, grass, etc. Don’t be afraid of it, especially do not try to avoid it. Because you can’t avoid the emotions which you are supposed to experience. Avoidance will only make the next encounter more undesirable. So take a deep breath and face what you have to face, and work on yourself to eliminate the root cause. That’s the only way out.

The way out of pain is through it.

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