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Painful memories resurfaced (27/06/2020)

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The book Essential Reiki: A Complete Guide to An Ancient Healing Art mentioned that after Reiki II attunement, lots of people go through quite intense emotional turmoils as part of the spiritual growth towards higher consciousness. After my Reiki II attunement, my husband confirmed this message.

Today I actually experienced this unavoidable piece of journey.

Recently I have extended my spiritual routine from the original 1 hour to 2.5 hours, which include meditation, Reiki self-healing and affirmations. This morning I loyally perform my routine and felt great afterwards. So I started the project I promised to complete over the weekend.

One of the files contains a lot of brand names, which cost roughly double amount of time compared to normal sentences when it comes to translation. The reason is that I need to do research for the ones I don’t know. Sometimes a single word can take me quite a few minutes of research time.

Because of this reason, lots of translators charge extra fees for brand names to compensate the research time. I don’t. Mainly because the agency I am working with has been very nice to me. Therefore I want to give back by doing extra work free of charge.

Therefore a file with a lot of brand names takes me a lot longer than normal to translate. When I am feeling peaceful, I’m ok with that. But today, it upset me A LOT. In the few hours I was translating those names, my mind was complaining almost constantly. I felt that I was unfairly treated, which was not true. Because I have willingly made the decision to not charge for the extra research time.

To make myself feel better, I logged the time I spent on this part of the project. My plan was that I will do a calculation when I finish this part to see how big the gap is between the total price for the project and my actual cost. If the shortage is huge, then I may need to mention it to the project manager.

Fortunately I was conscious enough to not do anything stupid. After lunch, I had a one hour nap. I had a quite good sleep. I even dreamed. In my dream, I met a university school mate. She was one of my roommates for the first 1.5 years of my university life. We disliked each other so much that we normally ignored each other.

Today in my dream, we didn’t ignore each other. Instead, we argued, even fought a little. The experience was so real that in the first few minutes after I woke up, I wasn’t sure where I was and how old I was. And I was not exactly in a positive mood.

To restore the positive and peace, I went to my little office and started meditating with my crystals. After about 30 minutes of meditation, the negativity was gone. The peace was restored. When I saw the time log I made earlier, I chuckled. ‘It seems the negative twin visited today.’

Fortunately, no harm was done. I quietly put the paper in to rubbish bin.

I think I did quite well today. The emotional disturbance I experienced today was quite strong. It was so strong that my body became hot and stayed hot for quite a while.

I feel quite proud for what I did in the face of those resurfaced emotional memories. I did not try to avoid the pain by distracting myself with something else (such as reading an article, listening to music, etc), which was my usual strategy for many years. Instead, I faced the pain directly. It did not feel great when it was passing my system, but it has gone away.

If I avoided it or forced it down, it would only be hiding in a dark corner of the subconscious mind, waiting for the next opportunity to attack me with greater strength.

We all have painful memories. Dealing with pain is part of human life. Whenever they resurface, face the pain so that it can burn and dissolve.

Happiness and peace are on the other side of the pain. Never forget that.

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