Yesterday morning I woke up at about 4:20am. Before I opened my eyes, I had a clear thought in my mind: What if I will be poor for the rest of my life? This thought would normally trigger a panicking feeling, because being poor is the last thing I want. For many years I firmly believed that if I even knew that there’s no hope for me to become wealthy, then I would choose death.
But somehow, yesterday I didn’t panic at all. It felt as natural as ‘tomorrow it may rain’. In that total peace, I answered my own question: Even if that happens, I will still be ok, like I have always been.
After that, I suddenly felt that a heavy burden had been lifted from my heart and shoulders. Because I stopped feeling that I had to get a certain level of wealth to be happy, which was a big relief for me.
Without that strong driving desire for wealth, I now feel a lot lighter and more peaceful. I feel that I can just be and enjoy what I am offered by life, rather than constantly worrying about not being able to create the wealthy life I have been wanting for for decades.
In other word, I have completely accepted the most unacceptable thing to me at the emotional level. In return, I have gained enormous freedom.
Eckhart Tolle mentioned that some people have one big challenge to face for this life. When that challenge is appropriately dealt with, they will gain enormous freedom which will enable them to realize their full potential.
I believe poverty is that big challenge for me, which has now been dealt with appropriately. That’s why I’ve gained so much freedom.
The price for the freedom of the heart is the surrender of desires.